Five teachers with a combined 90 years of experience share advice for parents of two - to 5-year-olds. Getting the Best Out of Your Child I fear that my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At college she cleans up her toys, lays her shoes, and is entirely self-sufficient at potty time. In the home, she yells whenever I ask her to pick anything up, insists that I join in the restroom whenever she has to go, and recently has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Certainly, her instructor understands something that I don't. But then, what parent hasn't sometimes wondered: Why is my child better for everybody else than for me? The simple answer: Your child tests her limits with you since she trusts you'll love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean you can't borrow a few strategies from the preschool teachers' playbook to get the best from the little one. We requested teachers from all over the country for their hints so listen up -- and take notes! .
Don't redo what they've done.
If your child makes her bed, resist the impulse to smooth the blankets. If she dresses herself stripes and polka dots, then compliment her diverse fashion. Unless absolutely necessary, don't mend what your child accomplishes, states Kathy Buss, director of the Weekday Nursery School, in Morrisville, Pennsylvania. She'll notice and it could discourage her,
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Avoid good-bye meltdowns
If your child is worried about spending some time aside, give him something tangible to remind him of you. Let him take your picture; kiss a tissue or cut out a paper heart and place it in his pocket. Having something physical to touch can help him feel less anxious -- and short-circuit a tantrum.
Create predictable patterns
Children collaborate in college because they understand what's expected of them, says Beth Cohen-Dorfman, educational planner at Chicago's Concordia Avondale Campus preschool. The children follow basically the exact same routine day after day, so they quickly learn what they are supposed to do, and after a while barely need reminding. While it might be impractical to have the exact same level of structure at home, the more consistent you are, the more cooperative your kid is likely to be, suggests Cohen-Dorfman. Decide on several routines and stick to them: Everybody gets dressed before breakfast. As soon as we come from outside, we wash our hands. No bedtime tales until all kids are in jammies. Finally, following these home rules will become second nature to your child.
Involve her in righting her wrongs
If you find her coloring on the walls, have her help wash it off. If she yells over a playmate's block tower, then ask her to help reconstruct it.
Prioritize play.
Preschool teachers said over and over that kids today are less able to perform imaginatively than children of a decade or two past. A lot of their day is structured in supervised activities, says Haines. The antidote: Obtain comfortable saying Go playwith. It's not your job to understand that your child is amused 24/7. Let her get a little bored. However, be sure she's things like dress-up clothing, paint and paper, a big cardboard box, and play dough.